Ever since I can remember, my grandparents have talked about their “foreign foods friends.”
Grandma Abby will tell me stories of her sewing dates with Claudia, her long talks with Ding, and all of the laughs that she has with Bev. Grandpa Jerry, although he claims that he doesn’t have any friends, will go golfing or fishing or talk on the phone with Tom, Dave, and Larry.
And although I have heard these names my entire life and have met these people each time we visit my grandparents in Kansas, it wasn’t until recently that I realized just how special these friendships are.
Rewind 43 years:
Four couples were living in or around the town of Cottonwood Falls, Kansas. They were young, had small kids, and wanted to find a way to socialize and meet new people. Though they knew each other due to the small size of the town, they weren’t close friends. But Abby and Jerry Horak (my grandparents), Tom and Ding Bell, Dave and Claudia Peebler, and Bev and Larry Scott came together to form the Foreign Foods Supper Club, and the rest is history.
The rules of the club are simple. Each month, one couple will host the group, and picks a country from around the world to cook a traditional meal from. The host chooses the dishes to be served, and gives recipes to the other ladies to cook prior to arrival. When they assemble, a delicious, exotic feast awaits.
For the last 43 years, the group has come together every single month and has shared a meal. They rarely repeat countries, and if they do, they hardly ever repeat a dish. And as the years pass, the integrity of the group has only strengthened.
“It was by chance that the four couples that are in it wound up together, and now we’re really good friends. Everyone had different occupations, which made us have meaningful conversations because we couldn’t focus only on our daily lives when we met. We didn’t necessarily socialize with each other for the first few years outside of Foreign Foods, but as we got closer, we developed new hobbies and interests together. Now, I sew with them, we go camping together, and the guys play so much golf,” Grandma Abby said.
The group likes to try foods more uncommon than what Americans typically think of when they think of “international foods”- no cliche Chinese takeout, pizza, or Mexican tacos. Instead, they opt for less common regions, such as Oceania, South America, Russia, and Africa.
“My favorite country that we’ve done would probably be France,” said Grandma Abby. “It seems more familiar in lots of ways, and the care that goes into the way the food is prepared and the blend of ingredients that it uses takes time to make, which we really enjoy doing. We also really like foods from the Orient- Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese.”
As the years progressed, they have had their fair share of mishaps and dishes gone wrong. One of the most infamous disasters were lime pickles.
“The country was India, and Claudia had made lime pickles as a condiment. As we sat down, Dave leaned over and told me that they were terrible, and of course we all had to try them! They were the epitome of wretched food, it has its own lore,” Grandma Abby said.
And now the group has created new lore- stories of friendship and fond memories that are told to us with such zeal. When talking to my Grandma on the phone, I could tell just how deeply this group has impacted her life, and consequently the lives of everyone around her.
Tonight for dinner, we had stir-fry. No, I’m not sure what country the recipe came from, but I do know that at some point over the last four decades, my grandparents and their friends sat down at one of their houses and enjoyed a bowl of stir-fry together. They probably drank some wine, filled each other in on what had happened over the last few days, and then launched into the real conversation- the deep discussions, the endless laughs, and the knowledge that whatever happens to any of them, they have each other.
They were drawn together by the allure of food. And they have created something much more powerful than just sharing a meal together. They inspire me daily to create these long-lasting connections, to foster friendships and to enjoy the meals I have with each of my friends. While I can’t say that I have 43 years of commitment under my belt, I can say that I will try- try to continue the traditions of transforming the act of cooking into an act of friendship and love.